It's been almost three years since my stomach troubles started. It seems insane at times it's been that long and I'm still trying to figure out how to keep my organs in check. Most days are good the past couple months; part of me hates to rock the boat and try to make it any better and then I hate that I am happy to settle for OK when it's possible I could feel normal for the first time in years. I suppose I now know just how bad it can get though, and while "normal" seems like the unattainable dream for me I still wish it were possible. I have however, accepted many things after three years. Most of which I think will be better in the long term for me; like I no longer miss coffee or soda. I still miss caffeine on those early mornings immediately following those late nights, but in general I don't even want anything with caffeine now. I am also now drinking these protein shakes with every meal, for two reasons. Firstly it ensures I get some protein with every meal in the event I can't eat food and secondly it helps fill me up so I eat smaller meals which keeps my organs happier. I still have my off days, but I find solace in the fact that they aren't frequent. The hardest part is knowing I cant' fix it; not really. There is no pill or magic cure all way to make it disappear forever. Even now as I write this I am nauseous...my stomach hurts...but I also know enough now to know it will get better as the day goes on. I am often telling myself "this too shall pass"...I have survived with this nonsense for going on three years now, I can get through one more day.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Levi
I have become a parent of sorts.
I adopted a dog, Levi.
I always wanted a dog...a big dog even.
So I adopted a big dog! A Flat-Coated Retriever mix; which I hadn't even heard of until I met him. He has a bit of a wavy coat, much like a Newfoundland does. Except whatever he is mixed with has given him beautifully mottled brown coloring on his legs; as well as some hidden little brown spots on his head. You have to look close for them, almost like Levi has secrets, you won't see them if you aren't paying attention to him. He is a bit scraggly, which is part of his charm that I love. He kind of looks like a friendlier version of Padfoot from Harry Potter...(which he was almost named after)...he is a true baby at heart. As I find is the case with most bigger dogs.
Levi makes friends most anywhere he goes. He is a social butterfly, though I notice he prefers friends of the human variety. Those friends pet you, give you treats, let you sleep in their bed, take you for walks...did I mention pet you? That's the biggest draw in his book; if you have hands Levi is your biggest fan! He also loves children. There is an elementary school about a block from us and he will sit in the grass and watch the kids at recess; occasionally you will hear a whine from him since we can't actually play with them. I often wonder if he lived with kids before he found me.
That's right, he found me. I may have adopted him but I went to Great Plains ASPCA with a totally different imagine in my head than Levi. I wanted a hound really, short coat and probably a little bigger overall. We looked at a couple possible buds, but nothing struck me quite like when I first saw Levi. (Who was named Jacob at that time) It wasn't just that I saw him and I knew though...it was the story of how he got there that hooked me. I might be the one person who would have loved him solely due to his circumstance. They informed me that Jacob and another dog he was living with, Isaac, had killed a bunch of chickens in Independence and couldn't live there anymore. That was his ticket to the shelter; but all I did was smile and laugh. It made me think of Merle, another chicken-killer, whom I love dearly. How could I not keep this dog now?!?.....It was fate.
I adopted a dog, Levi.
I always wanted a dog...a big dog even.
So I adopted a big dog! A Flat-Coated Retriever mix; which I hadn't even heard of until I met him. He has a bit of a wavy coat, much like a Newfoundland does. Except whatever he is mixed with has given him beautifully mottled brown coloring on his legs; as well as some hidden little brown spots on his head. You have to look close for them, almost like Levi has secrets, you won't see them if you aren't paying attention to him. He is a bit scraggly, which is part of his charm that I love. He kind of looks like a friendlier version of Padfoot from Harry Potter...(which he was almost named after)...he is a true baby at heart. As I find is the case with most bigger dogs.
Levi makes friends most anywhere he goes. He is a social butterfly, though I notice he prefers friends of the human variety. Those friends pet you, give you treats, let you sleep in their bed, take you for walks...did I mention pet you? That's the biggest draw in his book; if you have hands Levi is your biggest fan! He also loves children. There is an elementary school about a block from us and he will sit in the grass and watch the kids at recess; occasionally you will hear a whine from him since we can't actually play with them. I often wonder if he lived with kids before he found me.
That's right, he found me. I may have adopted him but I went to Great Plains ASPCA with a totally different imagine in my head than Levi. I wanted a hound really, short coat and probably a little bigger overall. We looked at a couple possible buds, but nothing struck me quite like when I first saw Levi. (Who was named Jacob at that time) It wasn't just that I saw him and I knew though...it was the story of how he got there that hooked me. I might be the one person who would have loved him solely due to his circumstance. They informed me that Jacob and another dog he was living with, Isaac, had killed a bunch of chickens in Independence and couldn't live there anymore. That was his ticket to the shelter; but all I did was smile and laugh. It made me think of Merle, another chicken-killer, whom I love dearly. How could I not keep this dog now?!?.....It was fate.
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